Posted in Lets Talk

Anxiety

Its 22:30 in the evening. I cant fucking breath. Do i tell anyone? No. People don’t talk about feelings. They’ll go away. Things will get better right? Just smile its not hard. Just block it out. Just pretend everything’s okay.

Im sick of pretending that everything is fucking okay. My legs are so numb and i cant move. I cant breath, i cant breath.

 

i can not breath.

 

 

I cant fucking breath.

From the outside i bet you all think iv got it figured out. I dress well, i do my hair, and paint a pretty picture onto my face all day everyday. I work hard and act like I’m so motivated, like i know what I’m doing with my life, where I’m going, that i am happy and confident as fuck. Because thats what you are meant to do right. Block it out. Don’t talk about the shit that stops you from getting out of bed in the morning. I hate talking about it. Doesn’t everybody? Put on a play people say. Put on a play.

Sometimes the most painful demons, are the ones hidden from the outside. If your not bleeding, wounded, in a cast or in a hospital bed. They presume, if you can not see it it does not really exist.

Some days are better than others. Some days are worse. But they are just days. Theres more to come. Theres more battles to fight, more days where everything will be okay. Days where i cant leave my front door to go out and socialise with my friends. Because my belly is too big, i am dripping in sweat as a fire is burning from the inside out, because my heart is heavy, my eyes are an ocean, everybody looks and everybody judges, my body is numb yet everything is moving so quickly, everyone is moving so quickly. Shivering and shaking i cant control it, Chloe calm down, Chloe stop. Everything is so loud, everyones looking, staring, watching, theres no one even here oh stop stop stop stop stop stop make it stop.

1 2 3 hold 123 exhale 123 123

123 hold 123 exhale 123 123

123

I still cant breath, this is never going to bloody stop. It feels like every cell in my body is moving so fast i am going to explode. My head is spinning the room is blurry. I feel like i’m drowning, this is going on for fucking ever.

123

123

123 hold 123 exhale 123 123

123

…….

23:55

By breathing is slowing down, my heart is still heavy.

I have one of the best friends i could wish for. I am not alone.

123 123

Really really deep breaths… in and out.

I still feel numb, but my heart rate is slowing. The tears have stopped.

Sit up. My head is so heavy and the room is spinning. I sit. Its midnight. Everything is quiet, hollow, empty.

Its over. Its finally over.

A cold splash of water against my face, lifting my head to the mirror. Tonight was a fucking hard night. But thats okay.

 

Tomorrow will be better, anxiety is a real thing and it needs to be talked about. Sometimes i use my blog as a diary entry for times when i’m alone and if i need a coping mechanism. I wrote this mid panic attack to give myself something to focus on and a way to calm myself down. Reading it back made me realise that maybe, just maybe it will help some of you. Im not sure if i will, or wont share this. I know for now it will sit in my drafts, but if it does ever reach the touch of your finger tips. Remember this was a big deal for me to share with you all. Not many people know about these evenings, or these points in my life, read it, use it to help you, and please be sensitive. I know not all of you will get this, the majority of you probably wont. But i hope at-least some of you do. Im sharing this with you so that it can help those of you who experience similar attacks and in hope that anyone right now experiencing a similar situation, will realise that they are not alone.

The next post will be a cheery one i promise, but everyone has clouds of darkness that shadow their light, and we are allowed to talk about those clouds just like we are physical illnesses. I am Chloe. I get anxiety attacks, and that was how i dealt with it. The raw and honest truth. Some of you will laugh, some will judge, but for my sake keep those judgements to yourself. Mental health is a thing, and it needs to be talked about.

All the love, Chloejadex

P.s, i wrote this over 4 months ago in a time when my mental health was in a really bad place, since then things have got a lot better, which is why i’m finally choosing to share this with you, to prove that things can get better. Over the past few days I have literally had 5 people come to me with problems to do with mental health. Some are seeking therapy, some are thinking about it and some are too afraid. The fact that In 3 days 5 of my friends approached me with such a topic really gave me a reality check. There are so so so many people out there suffering with mental illness whether that be anxiety, depression, eating disorders or anything else…. yet all feel the same. All feel ashamed, or embarrassed to talk about it, all barely tell anyone because of the fear of being judged. But the sad reality of it is that more people than you realise know exactly how your feeling. If you get anything from this blog, let it be that it should teach you that it’s okay to seek help. It’s okay not to be okay. We shouldn’t be ashamed of something that controls such a big part of our lives. I shouldn’t be ashamed anymore because anxiety is a part of who i am and mental health needs to be talked about. Its 2017, lets end the stigma.

Posted in Lets Talk

Living in a world full of dreadful delusions

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We are living in a world of dreadul delusions.

How many of you are reading this on an iPhone, iPad, Mac or similar device? Well… to read this you have to be on something similar… so I’ll take that as a yes from you all. How much did that cost you? Somewhere between 600 and 1500 pound?? More?? I bet you aren’t happy tho are you… I bet your constantly ranting about how crap it is or how you want a better version, or how you want to buy the next latest item of technology as well because you can’t do everything you want to on what you already have. I know i do… And i bet this message runs through with everything you have… whether that’s the fact your Nike/Adidas/vans/converse just arent enough and you need more pairs!! Or you don’t have enough jeans, i mean what 5/6 pairs.. that’s just not enough right?!

I bet your always moaning that you don’t get paid enough, that 5.50 an hour just doesnt cut it, you can’t survive on that! Well I mean… 5.50 an hour for say 14 hours a week, means you’ll end up getting 308 pound a month… but that goes in a flash with all the meals out, new clothes and shoes you have to buy, petrol money etc it’s just not fair right!!!

Parden my french but literally what the fuck are we doing with out lives. Personally i feel what i described above was a vague description of what those of us living in this first world country think on a regular basis. Yet there are people across the world sleeping under trees and pieces of cloth on the hard, cold, dirty, insect ridden floors with barely an item of clothing on their back, not a penny in their hand with no family, education, work, nothing. Yet here we are, all of us complaining about the petty little things in our lives when there are people out there with absolutely nothing. water-child-filling-containers-from-dirty-pond-third-world-poverty

Surely we should use how lucky we are and put it into purpose? We always claim we are poor and that we don’t have enough money, but in reality we do, we just spend it on shit we don’t need, to impress people we don’t care about, to give us a sense of self-satisfaction that… yano.. we are beautiful, up to date with the trends, and worth it. Yes….Yes we are all beautiful and we are all worth it. But by all, I literally mean all. Not just you and me reading this, but that little girl half way across the world with absolutely nothing to live for, with no i phone, I pod or iMac, no designer brands, or likes on a photo she’s posted online, just her in her raw natural beauty is beautiful, and so are we, with or without all of our materialistic items we so desperately crave on a daily basis.

When life began, we all started off like her. Somehow time and people have evolved, where one person thinks they are better than another, where one person believes something and thinks everyone should think the same. Where we are told what we should and shouldn’t were because of what logo it has embroidered into it..

We are living in a world, which I am growing to love but also so strongly growing to hate.  I want to make a change.  I want our generation to make a change. There are people out there who don’t even know how to read words or write a sentence, yet we know how to do both of those things and so much more. We are the privileged ones, we are the ones in power and we can make a difference if we want too.

There are so many things we can do, whether that’s donating a couple of pounds to a charity, or whether thats not using the 800 pound we have been saving to buy ourselves the latest technology, but using that 800 pound to physically go to third world countries and make a change ourselves. For the majority of us we have a few months left of school/college/uni and then we have 6+weeks off to do whatever we want….We have one life. We were born for a reason, how bloody insane would it be if we could turn and look at our children in 20,30,40 years time and say that it was us, the 99’s and 2000’s who made this world into a better place, who transformed the lives of millions and made this world a better place.

Its ambitious, I know. And i know not everyone has 800 saving to go to the other side of the world, but everyone has something, so please, if you’ve got this far and you’ve read this whole thing, don’t judge brush it off your shoulder and continue as if these issues arent real and arnt happening. Imagine if it was the other way round, and tonight you were told you no longer had any belongings, money, shelter, and you had to live the way millions of other people in third world countries do for the rest of your life… you’d be distraught right? Come on guys, let’s do this, lets prove to everyone around us what the power of the internet and the power of young people with a drive and ambition can do to make this world a better place for everyone. What am i going to do to help? Im currently looking into programmes to become an embassador for global change, and i will not stop untill i get there.

I’ll leave links to Charities below, please please please take the time to donate, whether its  penny or a pound help me build awareness and give people a chance at living there lives. For who knows… the cure for the illness a member of your family are living with, might just be in one of those children brains, yet it will never be discovered because they haven’t been given the opportunities and luxuries that we so obnoxiously take for granted every single day.

I hope you are well,

All the love Chloejadex

Red Nose day    United World Schools   Youth Ambassador’s for global change   3rd world hope

Posted in Lets Talk

How to turn a bad day into a good day

Those bad days can really take over your life sometimes right? Those bad days often turn into bad weeks, sometimes even a bad month. Sooner or later its easier to believe that your entire life is ‘bad’ because you have a few negative things going on.This is completely normal. Everyone goes through this, or at least, I think they do… if you don’t, please let me know how! Regardless, no one is ever happy 24/7 and I really truly think that every single one of you reading this, should be able to relate in one way or another. My life has been a-bit of a rollercoaster recently, and iv had a sudden urge to write a blog post on this to help myself and to help any of you that have been through a similar situation.img_7250

1. One of the biggest things iv learnt recently is to learn to accept negativity in my life, but not to let it cloud over me. It’s SO easy to let something bad that has happened in your day to define your entire day, week or month, but really, it shouldn’t. If you think about it, in life, the majority of us are fortunate enough to have had a lot of positive things happen to us. The simple things, like walking along the beach in the fresh brisk air by yourself, with your dog or your best friend, your boyfriend or your girlfriend, your mother, father, brother or sister, just cherishing those moments you have with the ones you love. That’s a positive thought in itself right?

2. Something that has always helped me has been writing. Personally i either use this blog and keep the personal thoughts in my drafts or even just write how I’m feeling in my notes app on my phone. Take a diary, or even just a plain pad of paper. Write down all the things you are thankful for in life. Whether that’s the fact you had a really nice meal for lunch, the fact you have shelter over your head, the fact you are greatful to have met the people you have in life, the fact your hair went right today or the fact you love the completely beautiful new dress you just brought from misguided. Whatever it is, write it down and keep on writing. If you can’t think of one positive thing from today, think about absolutely anything positive you have experienced in your life. There will be something positive just search for it. I think, when you’re in a state of negativity, it’s so easy to let it cloud over you, and completely ignore the sea of positivity that is actually surrounding you. Once you’ve finished your list, read it back through and trust me it will help and might just help to put things back into perspective. A few bad things occurring does not mean you have a bad life, everything will get better, i promise.13767366_761938410615873_8377776553261676063_o.jpg

3. Boys, this ones for you. Now normally id say my blogs target market is young girls and women of any age. However, iv recently realised that actually it’s not just girls who have troubles with body confidence. Like seriously how much pressure is there on men to be perfect these days? We see so many gorgeous looking men all across our social media, in and out of our lives daily with a perfect six-pack and biceps at the gym and like shit man that must be hard! I know for a fact id find it hard to get that hench so I can’t even begin to imagine the pressure you all have on you! I literally think it is SO important to love yourself for who you are! Male or Female, please never ever compare yourself to others. You are unique to yourself and that is what makes you, you and is what makes you gorgeous. You know all those Women and men you look at in envy and jealousy? Yeah they are looking back at you the exact same way… truth be told I very much doubt anybody is completely happy with their body or what they look like. However at the end of the day you only get one life and one body to go with that life. You need to learn to love your body because it’s the only one you have. It doesn’t matter if your thighs look like pancakes when you sit down or if your hair goes frizzy in the rain, it’s what makes you, you.  By all means work hard to enhance those features and make yourself feel better about yourself, but it shouldn’t be to such an extreme that its making you ill or obsessed with the way you look. I genuinely hope that one day you, yes YOU reading this, find a way to accept and appreciate yourself for who you are.

4. It’s completely okay not to be okay. Its normal. Everyone feels empty at times, everyone spends hours in their room crying their eyes out for no particular reason at all. A lot of people struggle to get out of bed in the mornings to face the hellish reality of everyday that hits you like a brick wall, you aren’t alone. Sometimes I think i don’t let myself feel the emotions i need to feel. Since the start of 2017 iv told myself that i am determined to make every day a good day and to be happy 24/7… but then, actually i think its important to let yourself just feel. Iv always been an anxious person, so if one morning i wake up and im finding it hard to breath, or if i find walking into a classroom hard, i shouldn’t beat myself up about it, but just accept the fact that is part of who i am, and that’s okay. Its okay not to be okay. If you’re struggling with your relationship, if you’ve got shit going on at home, if your losing your way in your education, your job or your future, that’s okay. Just remember it will get better, all you have to do is allow it to get better and take the necessary steps to ensure that.11751740_10154005222175016_2316379903581777004_n.jpg

5. Have a no screen day. Recently in college we have been talking a lot about the world of social media and how addicted we are as a society, to our phones. They are now an integral part of our lives and we genuinely find it hard to go longer than an hour without sitting in front of, picking up, or going on some sort of screen. Try this for a challenge. One day with no screens whatsoever. I 100% think that you will have no idea what to do with yourself, you’ll probably get withdrawal symptoms of some sort, but just see how it makes you feel. Social media consumes so much of our time and influences us in so many ways but it will genuinely help you so much if you discipline yourself to avoid social media and screens for just one day.  Take the time to pamper yourself and just be for a little while. Step away from the stress of everyday life and just, live.

6. Fake it untill you make it. I literally find trying to be confident so hard, but something that iv found helps recently is faking that I am confident. Now i am a drama student and have been my whole life, so i do find acting confident easier than the average person. However, by doing this iv sort of started to fool myself into thinking that i am actually confident? If you do something so much, and so frequently eventually it does start to become a part of you. So even if you are really conscious of your hair or your belly, or if people will like the boots you are wearing, as long as you pretend not to care and pretend that you don’t care what others think… eventually you will genuinely start to not care what people think. Like today i wore a florescent yellow coat to college that iv had for years but been too self conscious to wear… i was so anxious about it, but i then recieved so many lovely compliments and i suddenly found myself actually being confident in it! I know this sounds ridiculous, but honestly it works and i could not be much more confident in the person that i am at the moment because i faked it untill i made it. 11212757_610811719061877_8348874998528814946_n

7. Breathing. Take 30 seconds to just stop. Breath in, and breath out and calm down. Let yourself breath before doing something your slightly anxious about doing or after youve done something you wouldnt normally do. Just take 30 seconds, to gather your energy again and regain your strength.

8. Dont be afraid to ask for help. We are all here on this planet together and we all experience very similar things. One of the best things to do when you have had a bad day is to talk about it, bottling things up is never ever  good solution and actually by letting it out and talking to someone, most of the time it helps you realise the bigger picture of the situation, and that what you’re going through isn’t as bad as you think it is in your head . A big step in getting happy, is admitting that you are not. Its okay not to be okay.

So… there we are. A few things  i needed to get off my chest in order to help myself, and hopefully will be of use to some of you, along side a few photos of some of my happiest memories to make this post a little more aesthetically pleasing. If you have any questions feel free to ask and if you enjoyed this post like and subscribe.

I hope you’re all smashing 2017 so far.

All the love,

Chloejadex

Posted in Lets Talk

12 Resolutions for 12 months of the year

So it’s a new year, which means new years resolutions that everyone says there going to stick too and will change them for the next 365 days….. but really? Who can whole heartedly say that they have actually ever stuck to a resolution for that long hahah! But im determined to be successful this year and take my life in a direction where i am 100% happy by the end of it.

Everyone is put on this planet for a reason, to make some sort of impact or some sort of change to this world. To inspire others, to make a difference and to put a positive footprint on this world. Why are you here? What are you here to do? These are such significant questions that one day we must all answer, and i’m preparing to answer these myself.fullsizeoutput_1ed.jpeg

So… iv thought about putting a twist on the whole new years resolution stigma. Why not, make 12 small resolutions, for the 12 months of the year. So for the 4 weeks of January, i have one resolution and then for the 4 weeks of February i have another… and so on. I feel like personally this is going to be SO much more achievable for me and will keep me motivated throughout the entire year rather than just being motivated in January. So here goes, here are my 12 resolutions for the 12 months of the year;

1. January – Get more Organised

Iv started off the new year with a whole host of organisation complete, and I continue to do so throughout the rest of January in hope that it will to rub off on me for the rest of the year. Each night i will plan what i need to do the day before, and write it down in my daily journal, if i do not complete the list of things i have to do, i will not sleep until i have! I’m so motivated to grasp this year with both hands and i truly think this is the best way to go about it.

2. February – Go on a run twice a week

3 or 4 years ago I used to be so into my fitness and health, i even had the aspiration to become a personal trainer. I would go on runs 2 or 3 times a week, and motivate a small group of friends to go with me. We entered so many charity runs together and had so much fun in the process whilst also raising an insane amount of money. It lighted a fire inside of me and i want to be ignited again so in February i will, no matter what, get my mojo back and get back into running!fullsizeoutput_1f0.jpeg

3. March – Learn to cook

For many people my age, in September they will be off to University. Although personally this isn’t the case for me,i feel i still need to learn to cook, so when the time does come around that i move out and start having to fend for myself, i can actually eat proper meals and be a mature independent woman…well thats the plan anyway! Although i say this a lot, i genuinely am determined to just eat that little bit healthier this year and i think an easy way to go about that is to learn to love to cook, and perhaps even come up with my own recipes, who knows!

4. April – Reduce your time in Social Media

This is a big one… and also a very hard one. In today’s society, our generation is generally so wrapped up in social media and viewing life through a screen that we forget to actually live in the moment. I can’t even count how many times iv been to a family event, or just been out with my girls and iv been hunched over with my head fully absorbed in talking to someone who isn’t there, scrolling through twitter and Facebook or liking someones photo on Instagram. I think its important to remember that the person who isn’t there, isn’t there for a reason and just because you don’t talk to them for a couple of hours it doesn’t mean they will vanish from your life forever. OBVIOUSLY i love the concept of social media, but we need to start actually living life and experiencing things rather than pretending to live life  and constantly looking into what other people are doing with theirs?? Its time to live in the moment again.fullsizeoutput_1f8

5. May – Work hard, play later

Normally one of my main motto’s that I stand by and try to live by, is to “Work hard and play harder” However these next two months are going to be the most important month of my life so far. My A level exams will have already started in April and ill be mid way through the rest of my exams. I have to stay motivated and not get distracted, i can play hard at the end of June when all my exams are over. I am so determined to smash these exams even if it is going to be the hardest thing iv ever done. I’m going to work as hard as i possibly can, and do everything in my power to get where i want to be and that’s all anyone can ask for. I want to be as motivated to be successful as motivated i am to breath. Then and only then will i be where i want to be.

6. June – Staying Positive

June is the month the majority of my family have their Birthdays and also is the month of my 18th. It’s genuinely my favourite month and i have no doubt it will be again, but as i previously said i will still be midway through my exams as the majority take place in june so i am going to be STRESSED STRESSED STRESSED. No doubt ill have many a breakdown and ill probably feel like giving up, but in June my resolution is to stay positive and stay motivated. It will be worth it in the end. 10 years down the line, you’ll thank yourself Chloe, stick at it i believe in you!fullsizeoutput_1f4.jpeg

7. July – Go to places you have never been before and take risks!

SUMMERRR!!!! Finally, summer will properly begin. In my entire life time i have only ever been to England (my home), Menorca in Spain and Turkey. But i want to change this! Although iv only had a taster of what travelling/going abroad is like, the very small taste that i have had iv adored. I want to travel to places in England iv never been too, i want to go on a holiday with all of my best friends, i want to go on spontaneous weekends away and make the beautiful memories that i can hold on too forever. I want to say yes to things i never usually would say yes too and i want to feel the most alive i ever have done!

8. August – Drink 2 litres of Water a day

At the beginning of last year i used to be a fanatic about drinking water. I drank at least 2/3 bottles a day and it seriously cleaned up by skin! August is generally the hottest month so im gonna want to be wearing minimal makeup, to help me do this im gonna need my skin to be blemish free and drinking lots will help that!fullsizeoutput_1fe.jpeg

9. September – Lets get Fit once and for all.

Personally I find September sort of mini new year, it’s a new school year so technically a new year meaning we can start a fresh again right?? I used to be incredibly passionate about fitness and i want to get that passion back this year. Make your last excuses yesterday, and put it behind you. Its over with, nothing else will defeat you and you will accomplish this goal once and for all.

10. October – Fashion focus – wear whatever you want to wear!

As many of you may or may not know, October is one of my favourite months of the year especially when it comes to fashion. The Autumn months start appearing which means colder evenings and crisp golden leaves all over the floor. So this calls for boots and fluffy coats and all of my favourite style’s of fashion! I want to step out of my comfort zone this year and where literally whatever I want and if at any point i think ‘oo no other people wont like that’ or ‘id love that but i could never pull it off’ I WILL BUY IT BECAUSE ALL OF US SHOULD BE ABLE TO PULL WHATEVER WE WANT OFF, LIKE LITERALLY WHO ACTUALLY CARES???fullsizeoutput_203.jpegfullsizeoutput_1eb

11. November – Give someone a chance/let someone in.

This is literally the hardest one for me. One of the biggest things i struggle with in life is letting down this very tight guard and wall i have built up around myself over the past few years. I know it may sound silly, but i genuinely find it very hard to let people in and if i do, i freak out and end things just like that because i get scared. However i need and want this to change. I need to learnt to trust people and not worry what others may think of me, i am who i am at the end of the day. Iv just got to accept that, and learn that others will accept that too.

12. December – Complete BLOGMAS (like actually do it this time haha)

If and only IF I manage to complete all the above resolutions, i would absolute adore to complete Blogmas. Christmas is the best time of the year, and i always do so many fun and exciting things, and have so many wonderful things i could write about. If i actually managed to write 24 blog posts throughout the month of December i would be so proud of myself!fullsizeoutput_1f3.jpegfullsizeoutput_1fe

So there we are… 12 resolutions for 12 months of the year. I’m so excited to go ahead and try my ultimate best to complete all of these and I will keep you posted to let you know if i have!

Heres to an amazing year, iv got a good feeling about 2017. Lets grasp it with both hands and have fun! Its better to Aim for the stars and not reach them than to not aim at all. Id rather try and fail, than not try at all and still fail through fear of trying. This is my life, this is all of our lives and i am so determined to be successful.

 What is your resolution for this year?

All the love, Chloejadex

Photography by Rebecca Treagust – Instagram @bextreagust 

Black Boots    Jeans    Floral Bodysuit

Posted in Lets Talk, Lifestyle

A reflection of 2016

2016… what an absolutely mental year. Iv seen so many blog posts floating around recently talking about new years resolutions and their goals for next year, but i cant help thinking how essential it is to have one final look back at the year that has just been.

2016 for me has honestly been one of the rockiest years of my life but also one of the years where I have finally started to find myself and discover exactly who i am and who i want to be. I have changed, ALOT. I am so proud to say that, i am not the girl who walked into this year in the slightest anymore, and i am so happy about that.15644519_1063944003716595_67313963_n.jpg

I am passionate, I am unique, i have a hobby that none of my friends have but i am so proud that i have this hobby, iv finally put my foot down and i am doing what i want to do with my life, i have got rid of all negativity in my life and iv put myself, my health and my happiness before everything. I am Chloe Bradbury. And i am so bloody proud to be where i am today

2016 started off entering the new year with just two friends by my side, i was rehearsing for a show and i rarely ever had time to socialize. I was busy 5 days a week, falling asleep in college with a lack of motivation, failing my mock exams and lacking considerably in self-confidence and happiness. I was getting by everyday doing what was deemed respectable, and just doing what i should, regardless of whether that made me happy or not.13689386_1234463036586609_653937427_n.jpg

March; one of the best months of my life. I actually finally started to push myself and made myself do what i wanted to do, anxiety didn’t get in the way i just went and grabbed an opportunity with both hands and not an inch of me regrets it. As a young girl a massive dream of mine has always been to have a life on stage, performing every single day just doing what i love. So i saved up for a while and ended up attending a taster week at ‘The Brighton Academy’ school of performing arts that has a 100% agent success rate and in my eyes was one of the best experiences i have ever had. Iv never felt so welcome, and so encouraged in my life. The students and teachers were so lovely and so helpful and it gave me one of the biggest kick up the back sides ever. I finally realised that if i wanted this life in the performing arts industry, i could do it i just have to work for it!

My 17th birthday was one of the best iv ever had, surrounded by loved ones and some very embarrassing yet hilarious memories.If there is one thing iv learnt this past year is that friendship is SO valuable. Iv made so many new friendships this year, and strengthened so many old ones. Iv had to let go of a few, and fight for many but in the end im leaving 2016 with every single person I love and adore to the bottom of my heart and am entering 2017 with everything out in the open. Iv learnt its important to be honest about how i feel, and that its okay to have my own opinion, just as its okay for others to have theirs.13382117_742065872603127_254983637_n14064121_780110305465350_1908303415899231719_n

Iv also learnt that being a skinny mini really isn’t everything. If iv got a party at the weekend it does not mean I have to spend the whole week dieting so i can have a perfectly flat stomach just for one night…. your drunk and its dark anyway so really no one cares. It’s okay to eat lots of pizza and Chinese if i want too, and its okay to dip in and out of phases with my fitness ,it’s completely natural. We only have one life for goodness sake! Who cares if you have had 2 takeaways two nights in a row just blooming go for it and enjoy it. Stop calorie counting, stop only having half a biscuit, eat the whole thing. Go to the gym the next day, release some endorphins and be fricking happy!fullsizeoutput_1c0.jpeg

Politically this year the world has turned to a sham, we have elected people who perhaps are not the best people to elect, we have made decisions as a country that many will regret and we have lost so many greats to heaven. But this is something we now have to live with, we have made history and we HAVE to make the future bright. I am so excited to see what 2017 has in store for all of us, and I am SO determined to make this year incredible. I will do what i want to do, say what i want to say, and be who i want to be. I will be free and i will be happy and i hope you all can be happy too.

Its been a whirlwind of a ride, 2016 you have taught me a lot, and I just want to thank my amazing friends and family for sticking by my side through everything. Words will never describe how much you all mean to me. And finally of course, a massive thank you for over 3000 of you giving me your time and supporting me in this different little hobby of mine that i love so very much.

2017, let’s do this!fullsizeoutput_1b0

All the love, Chloejadex

 

Posted in Lets Talk

Project Self development

Dear future me, have you completed your project self-development goal?

Yes? Well that’s a lie. You should never stop developing yourself Chloe! I hope, in 10 years time if you are reading this back content, and happy wherever you are and whatever you are doing. I hope you are pursuing your dreams and are never ever letting someone tell you, you can’t. You can. You will. One life remember, don’t blow it away. Some people would die to have the life you do, so take it in your stride and if today is a bad day, remember you at 17 years old. Sat with your feet up, cosy in bed, a whole host of friends surrounding you and a loving family that would do anything to you. You were loving college, getting good grades and finally figuring out where you truly want to go in life!! You were ambitious and motivated. Yes you doubted yourself, you probably still are. I hope you’re not anymore actually. Wouldn’t that be nice, in 10 years time, to fully believe in yourself.

Are you still living with mum and dad? Have you found the love of your life yet? If not, remember that at 17 years old you didn’t need a man, you were too busy having fun with your life and doing everything you were passionate about, so i want it to be the same in 10 years time! If you do have a man that is amazing, you go girl, you slay, i hope he knows how damn lucky he is because you are one tricky bitch to get through too hahah. Who is he? Does he make you feel safe? Does he make you, a better you? Have you travelled the world yet?

Are you happy? Fully and completely content with everything in your life. Have you finally started putting yourself and your health first without being scared of upsetting somebody else or letting another down? Oh my god have your brothers had children?? Do you spoil them rotten. Do you have children? Gosh that’s a scary thought, 17-year-old you is currently petrified at the thought of having children, are you coping? Are they as sickie and yucky as we were as a child? 10 years time… 10 years time… we are 27 years old. That is as old as our eldest brother is currently! That is crazy!!

Dear future me, here are a few things I hope you have achieved:

  1. You are doing a career you love and are passionate about
  2. You have become completely utterly confident in your style, fashion and body
  3. You are continuing to try to change the world
  4. You have cut off your hair for Cancer Research
  5. You have travelled the world, or at least part
  6. You went to the University YOU wanted to go to, to do what YOU wanted to do, even if that means living off baked beans all day everyday.
  7. You are still in contact with the people you were at 17 years old.You had some good people at this stage in your life I hope you haven’t lost them.
  8. You have taught children and helped children in third world countries.
  9. You are a home owner
  10. You are happy.

All the love, ChloeJadex

Posted in Lets Talk

BLOGTOBER!

Hello my lovely little strangers…

It feels like a lifetime since I was last tapping away at my Mac to write one of my blog posts that i was so passionate about writing…. and that i still am so passionate about writing, so this is why I’m back 🙂  So eptembers blog posts were pretty much non-existent, with going back to college, my performing and work commitments has just meant i have physically not had the time to just sit back and write all those awfully ramble thoughts that run through my head constantly everyday.

However with blogtober arriving i have decided to push myself and do everything in my power to blog every single day in October! Now admittedly this is going to be IMPOSSIBLE, because i am such a busy bee. However with the excblogtober-introductioneption of maybe one or two blogs a week i am going to be uploading as frequently as i possibly can! I have no idea what time it will go up everyday or at the moment what will even be in the blogs, but there will be an awful lot of blogs this month… hopefully…i hope..lets all hope haha!

So, for the first of the blogs this is going to stay short and sweet but i thought id just keep you updated on where i have been, what i have been doing and what i am doing in the future. If any of you have any suggestions on what i should blog about, feel free to leave them in the comments or message me on any of my social media’s!

 

I hope you have all been well, i look forward to giving you all much more content to enjoy in the coming month! IV MISSED Y’ALL!

All the love, Chloejadex